French designer Philippe Starck is reportedly working on a "revolutionary" Apple product, but what could it be?
This just in! Before Christmas Apple will release some "Holy Mackerel!" revolutionary product. The designer behind the product is the superstar Philippe Starck, known in New York for designing a slew of trendy hotels.
To give you some idea as to how "revolutionary" Starck's designs are, you only have to visit the men's lavatory in the lobby of the Royalton Hotel in Manhattan. The first thing you notice is that there is no urinal. Instead, you pee onto a large stainless steel wall. The pee triggers a waterfall on the wall, which washes the urine into the sewer. Yes, design at its best. I think the word sometimes used to describe Starck's ideas is "playful."
I have to believe that Starck and Jobs became pals sometime in the past because they agreed on one thing: everything should be black and dark.
But what is this revolutionary product described in the various press accounts?
Of course, the Apple TV comes to mind, but what if it is something else? A quick look at Starck's website might reveal some clues, especially if we look at his partners. It shows that he has worked for both 7-11 and Microsoft. There are no specifics but I wouldn't be surprised if the "tiles" were something he dreamed up. Scanning the long list of clients—which seemingly omits Apple—is fruitless. We have to thus deconstruct what Starck has been up to and what he can possibly do that the in-house design team, deemed to be the best industrial design group in the world, cannot do.
A look at the 2011-2012 chronological timeline might give us an indication. It begins with a variety of wild-looking watches for Fossil, the W800 Motorcycle, a small table, a chandelier, an array of chairs, lamps, a weird toilet/bidet called the SensoWash, an olive oil bottle, a water bottle, and eyeglass frames. Nothing jumps out at me that would hint at a revolutionary Apple product.
Next, 2012 starts with a gold cart, followed by a steak knife, a "Navigo" card, bicycle, then some sort of crazy-looking waste can. Again, nothing that screams Apple.
I notice that there are not a lot of inventions, just interesting designs. So, all we can expect from Starck is an embellishment on an existing in-house product that, for some reason, needs details beyond what Apple engineering and Apple design could do on its own.
Since Apple tends to be minimalist in its designs, there is no real reason for Starck to be involved in any way. What does he bring to the party? That's unless this isn't about a TV or anything like that, but about some architectural scheme where Apple designers need outside help. The Apple stores, for example, were done by many outside consultants.
So let's just say that this has nothing to do with any TV but rather another Apple retail initiative. Something nobody would expect. An Apple Hotel? It's a funny idea but hardly revolutionary.
Taking Starck at his word and knowing he'd be subject to great ridicule if he has exaggerated, we must assume that the product is indeed revolutionary. And it has to be doable, so I am not expecting a 3D hologram television (yet). You have to go for the wild speculations. I'll revisit this and speculation should be fun, but someone out there knows the truth. I invite the readers to make their predictions in the comments section.
Oh, and if I were to guess, how about a robot?
You can Follow John C. Dvorak on Twitter @therealdvorak.
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